Dear Mrsatroxi,

I am no good at making plans with friends. I usually say something vague, like, “let’s get together and do something sometime!” And that’s usually the end of it. Not because I am insincere about wanting to do something, but because I am shy. I can think of twenty different things you would rather do than get together with me. And I hate the telephone. No so much the talking on it, but the whole build up to a call. “They are busy, they don’t want to talk to me, they don’t want to do anything anyway,” getting the number wrong at least once, and having hands so sweaty the phone will slip out of my grasp. I worry too much about myself. So I lose friends.

But I have one lovely friend who has been here through thick and thin. And she understands and tolerates my multitudes of dumb neurosis. And she actually likes to do things with me.

So I actually have plans this weekend. Plans with this friend. We are going to do something fun. Shopping and a movie and eating out.

I can’t wait.

According to good ole’ MSN, my Dad Was WRONG.

Wrong!

Sorry, fella, but my father never gave me any of that sucky advice.

Good grief.

Let’s say, just for a moment, that you are a patient seeing a new doctor for the very first time. The pretty and also nice girl behind the front desk, after explaining the few bits of paperwork, hands you a clipboard with said paperwork. Attached to the clipboard is a long, dangly sparkly chain.

Now, dear reader, don’t you think that you would assume the reason for a chain to be attached to a clipboard would be for the sole purpose of securing a pen to it? Doesn’t that make sense? Paperwork has to be filled out, here’s a nice pen to expedite the process. But so you don’t run off with it, we are going to glue it down. It’s logical, right?

I am the nice and also pretty girl behind the front desk. I explain paperwork and hand it over to people. I watch as 95% of them take it, wrap the chain around their fingers, and say,

“I need a pen.”