Dear Mrsatroxi,

Today I had an MRI.

I had never had one before, and I was very nervous. I’m sure you are familiar with the procedure, even if you have never had an MRI. Very simply, you get shoved onto a tiny tube and huge magnets whirl around your head, resonate, and it makes purdy pictures of your head, or spine, or little toes. Or whatever.

I was taken back extremely quickly, nay, hustled back, even, told to take off my glasses and shoes and hop into a sheet covered horse trough while a blurry nurse shoved earplugs into my ears and a helmet over my grey matter. I was told about 542 times to not move my head, and then I was left alone. I shut my eyes as the trough slowly slid backwards into the tube, and concentrated on being still.

It was not as bad as I was afraid it was going to be, but in some ways it was worse. Firstly, I think it was the oldest unit in operation, secondly, I think it was the dirtiest. I am certain that the portion just above my face was covered in dried vomit. (Granted, it was not in the easiest area to clean, but then, neither is a toilet, but most of us manage to get to those at some point, now, don’t we?) Thirdly, it was loud. The nurse said I would hear “some banging” noises, but “not to worry”. Well, I heard banging all right. And whoops, whistles, whirrs, clicks, voices, screams, and whooshes. All at top volume. Whew. But it was ok. There were only two times that I was uncomfortable, and that was during the second scan, which made me feel like I had a tic in every muscle in my face, and then when they hauled me out to inject me with dye.

I think the best analogy I can think of is that it was rather like being swallowed by an electronic whale.

Only less wet. And less smelly. But not by much.

It went well, they didn’t have to take any extra scans, (I am a master at not moving!) and in a few days they should know if I have a brain or not.

I’ll keep you posted on that one.

I am ill.

I swear I’m not writing this to get attention, I just wanted the folks who read this thing to know. I’ve not given up on writing, or fallen off the face of the earth, or anything like that.

If it is what the doctors think it is, it could be serious.

You know what I think of medical doctors (archives!), so I imagine they are probably wrong.

Nevertheless, I have a tough few days ahead of me and some tests I am not looking forward to.

I know this place has not been a barrel of sunshine lately, and I am sorry to be another negative factor in a negative world.

I’ll post as I am able, and I’ll try for happier subjects.

Update…

A brazillion blood tests, some heavy medication, and one CAT scan later, they are 99% certain that they were wrong about the serious bit. But I still have an MRI to go, just to rule out the last 1%. I was feeling better….today I am not.

Thank you all very much for your words of sympathy.

It means a lot.